DVD Interruptus

DVD Interruptus.

It seems that few are willing to come forward to share their pain at this disorder. Is it the shame of having a crappy DVD player from a prior generation? Is it the exacerbation of audio that's one step up from string between cans? Or the secret fear that if we were just more technically savvy, we'd know how to fix it? And, the crowning touch, if we assume that the darn thing was broken when we got it, will the vendor from whom it came accept that it was messed up upon receipt or double our injury by blaming US for the damage?

There I was, curled up in my favorite chair, watching a marathon of old Earth2 episodes from my online movie service. Doing this was a reward for managing to get my droopy backside moving today to actually do some weekend chores (yes, my weekends are during the week) after a 12-hour workday yesterday and while facing the dread of an early meeting tomorrow. I was in the middle of the middle episode on the back side of the DVD, EXACTLY in the middle of the episode, when the screen freezes, my DVD begins to make a slowed-down version of the trilling of a scalded Yeti, and I'm left on a cliff of suspense. Will the little sick kid get rescued by the scary dudes in the baggy alien catsuits? Will the haunted Antonio Zapato Jr. character ever stop having horrible dreams? Will the creepily perfectly evil Tim Curry ever be vanquished? Will the little girl character ever stop putting feminism back 25 years with her incessant screaming? Will they ever get across Earth2? There's only 20 or so more episodes to go before the thing gets canceled, after all, so something significant's gotta happen soon! It is embarrassing that this actually matters to me when my life is full of much more important things. I try fast forwarding and backing up almost to the point of stuckness, but the stuck spot seems to suck us in like a black hold. I try running it through my computer on one... two... three different programs. No go. My DVD player turns the screen into pixilated modern art, one computer player freezes solid, and two never even open, just make a lot of chugging/return sounds deep in the bowels of the machine. I swear. A lot (okay, just a little). I pace around. I wash dishes. The itchy feeling inside continues. I want to call someone and yell at them, but realize that won't help. I wonder how many people sent the DVD back without reporting the problem and grumble at them. I wonder who put the thing in the microwave or sat on it or licked it or ran a magnet over it or whatever to ruin it in the first place -- THAT's who I should be calling. I fantasize minor disfigurement of same.

Ultimately, I regained sanity and sent the thing back .... and now antsily wait for a replacement copy. In the meantime, no spoilers, please! But, if there is an online fan group for E2, it would be interesting to know about you!